The Ups and Downs of CC

My first year homeschooling was a bit brutal for me. I had essentially no community. That was strangling to me and to M1. By Christmas we had decided she would go to our neighborhood school for 1st grade for this and many other reasons. Then January came and life was just too much around our house- we lost a dear friend and this Mary was the one who needed a break. Admittedly it was bittersweet but I realized then this important truth...

I cannot be so married to an educational philosophy that I will sacrifice my family on its altar.

I'm sure that truth could find itself in many other realms of life, but for us it was schooling that had to change. And honestly, she did really well in the new school environment.

Part of me wanted to hear "Mom I hate it, I just want to be home with you." (clearly my selfishness). But overall I was delighted she was thriving and being stretched. That experience lasted from mid-February to mid-June. When she came home for the summer (finally, June 10. what?!) We started praying through our upcoming school year. My heart was so set on homeschooling but my husband was still in protect-Mary mode. He loves me so well and wanted to set us up for success, not hold us back. He knew how painful it would be to try again and have to stop (fail in my mind) and wanted to make sure my heart was ready for the everyday load of schooling.

We really wrestled with the decision and there were many tears. Things changed abrubtly one day when I received an email in July telling me that there was an open spot in a Classical Conversations community in our area. The director wanted an answer very soon so we jumped into debate. This seemed like a true answer to prayer and leading- so we said yes and started in August

That began my ups and downs with CC.

the love....
Basically in a nutshell, CC is a community in which to learn memory facts and experience community. Each week the kids are presented "new grammar" (new info) to memorize- from areas including history sentences, science facts, Latin, english grammar, math facts, geography, and the timeline (from creation to modern day America). These facts build upon each other and by the end of the year its impressive what has been taught. Additionally, each week there is a science experiment, a fine arts component, and student presentations.

the love
I loved the history.
I loved watching M1 struggle through memorizing the timeline of the world.
I loved that I didn't have to teach her Thursday mornings and she had a taste of a classroom environment, a place to try to make friends.

the hate....
It was difficult,at first, to make friends. For both of us.
It was like drinking from a fire hydrant. For both of us.
I had to adhere to someone else's schedule (I love the making my own schedule part of homeschooling...).
Not being 100% classical in my educational philosophy, I didn't love "pounding the memory pegs" as they said. I felt it squashed what I was doing at home.

Each week I was unsure of our decision....until March, with only 3 weeks left in the program.

What changed?
I finally learned how to incorporate CC into our world of homeschooling. I learned to do it in a way that is best for our family. I was busy trying to be like the other families there who seemed to have it all together. My insecure heart saw 5 year olds reciting lengthy passages of Scripture, and I struggled.

I realized I was assigning to these families a performance-based righteousness. I was not believing the best about them.

With information facts there is no almost- either you know it or you don't. In my mind you knew them you were good if you didn't, bad if you don't. What did it say about me if M1 didn't know everything perfectly? Was I a good enough mom? Was she smart enough?

This conversation lived in my mind as I wrestled with CC. I do still believe we need to be quick to do our best but offer grace and not an expectation of perfection for our children. It was freeing to realize I was the one who needed to extend grace to my child, so that she, we both, could enjoy what God had given us- a FANTASTIC PROGRAM to use to the best of our ability.

Fast forward to this year, we've just completed week 12.
We. All of us. M1 is in a Journeyman class; M2, abecsedarian, M3 the preschool.
And me? I'm actually a tutor to the Apprentice class. Wonders never cease.

The Marys may never be "Memory Masters". I actually don't know if I want them to be. But we will strive hard to learn what we can. Thankful ever more for our CC community. More next time on how that fits into our day to day.....